Jokes about lists.

Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her. Yo mama's cooking is so nasty, the house flies got together to fix the hole in the window screen. Yo mama's so depressing, blues singers come to visit her when they've got writer's block. Yo mama's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license.11. Slapstick/Physical Jokes. A slapstick is a simple comedic tool made of two pieces of wood. If you “hit” someone with a slapstick, the wood pieces smack together and make a loud noise. It looks and sounds like the person really got slapped, but in fact, the slapstick won’t hurt them at all.A senior citizen is pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. The trooper says, “If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”. The old gentleman replies, “Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”. The trooper frowns.Joke has 80.16 % from 2013 votes. More jokes about: Hitler, jewish, racist. A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school... Teacher: "Whats your name?" Boy: "Nadir" Teacher: "No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today." Boy went home and his mother asked: "How was the day Nadir?"Dec 29, 2023 · Make a noise like a carrot. A driver and a zebra are out for a drive when they get pulled over by the police. The police officer looks in the car and says “You need to take that zebra to the zoo.”. So the driver turned around and took the zebra to the zoo right away.

Jan 13, 2022 ... The best jokes ever performed soon become iconic classics, and there is no better iconic joke than a one-liner. We've compiled a list of the ...

Not Happy. 2. A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says, “I believe that I am a type o.”. 3. You know, there’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. 4. I’ll never forget my dad’s face when I gave him his 50th birthday card, tears in his eyes, as he said to me, ‘One ...Funny jokes and appropriate for kids or co-workers. Get a random "dad joke", a classic one-liners, or just a silly pun. Submit your joke and keep the random list growing.

74 Funny Story Jokes That Earn Their Laughs. Linas Simonaitis and. Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė. 27. 1. ADVERTISEMENT. A one-liner is well and fine if you need a quick joke to brighten up the mood. Yet, sometimes, the need arises for something longer, more along the lines of a funny story. But we all know how these situations tend to go—if ...Jun 2, 2022 · Knock-knock jokes can be a little annoying for adults, but they’re great to tell kids. If you’re looking for very funny jokes to share with your kids to strengthen your bond and make them laugh, then the following 9 jokes are perfect. 1. Knock knock – Who’s there – Annie – Annie who? Dec 2, 2021 · The four kids who make up the series’ wannabe gang are saving money to split for California. When one of them, Willie Jack (played, in a breakout performance, by Paulina Alexis), is asked by her ... Oct 25, 2023 · 150 School Jokes. School can be a roller coaster of emotions, packed with joyous moments, challenging hurdles, and, of course, a significant amount of learning. But amidst all the study hours and the endless flow of homework, there’s always room for a good, hearty laugh. This collection of school jokes is designed to lighten your mood and add ...

Free bookkeeping app

So, the things you are about to find on this list are: the cutest jokes on bees meeting their honey, the silliest pick-up lines, the most adorable puns on doctors having crushes, and, of course, some healthy satire on the institution of marriage. So really, a love joke for any occasion, any Valentine’s Day plans, and even for those who aren ...

1 reranks. Voting Rules. Vote up any funny joke about lawyers and attorneys. Lawyers are allegedly the worst. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the ... Every good joke has two essential components: the setup and the punchline. The Setup. The setup of a cat joke sets the stage for the punchline. It provides the necessary context or scenario that creates anticipation in the listener. For example, a classic cat joke setup might involve a cat attempting a daring feat or being in a humorous situation. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it...Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her. Yo mama so fat, she uses the highway as a slip ‘n slide. Yo mama so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion. Yo mama so fat, she puts on her belt with a boomerang. Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.Good braces jokes often rely on clever puns or word play, as exemplified by this joke: “What does a dentist do during an earthquake?” The response: “He braces himself!” One funny j...1. There. 2. Are. 3. No. 4. Bad. 5. Dog. 6. Breeds. 7. Only. 8. Bad. 9. Owners. 10. Chihuahuas. upvote downvote report. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. A …2. Hypocrisy. 3. Irony. upvote downvote report. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. An infamous stud with a long list of conquests... An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink.

This list is primarily focused on North American and European mobilizations of discriminatory humor—often what is labeled as “ethnic humor.” The scholars represented in this reading list evaluate how allegedly harmless everyday practices—like sharing a joke—dehumanize the victims.Utah. An elderly Mormon visits his doctor and asks if he’ll live to be a hundred. “Do you smoke or drink?” asks the doctor. “Those things have never and will never touch my lips,” says ...Yo momma so stupid, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone. Yo momma so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side. Yo momma’s so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth. Yo momma’s so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.Jul 14, 2021 · Tick Tock Goes the Clock. Doctor: “Mr. Jones, you may want to sit down. I have some bad news and some very bad news… which would you like to hear first?”. Mr. Jones: “Oh jeez, I guess I’ll take the bad news first.”. Doctor: “The bad news” doctor notes, “is that I got your test results and you have 24 hours to live.”. If you're ready for some good laughs, but don't have a ton of time, these short jokes will do the trick, from quick jokes for adults to funny ones for kids.

List of fat jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at fat jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love...

Feb 12, 2018 · Dirty One Liner Jokes. Finally, here’s some hilarious one liner dirty jokes for those who like it quick! The difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah” is about three inches. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong. If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are… you have small boobs. May 5, 2023 · Funny clean jokes. 1. I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one. 2. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. The best jokes about aging skewer the aspects of growing older that are tough for everyone to accept; the slowing down of the body, the rapid advancement of a world that feels like it's moving forward without you, and of course, looking older. When a person can find the comedy in a difficult reality, it's safe to say they've reached a mature …45 Funny Christian Jokes. Canva/Parade. 1. What did Jonah's family say when he told them about what happened before reaching Nineveh? "Hmm, sounds fishy." 2. What was Moses' wife, Zipphora, known ...So sit back, relax, and get ready to belly laugh as we journey through the ages with these side-splitting history jokes! List of Jokes about History. 1. Why did the Middle Ages make terrible music? Because they only used the feudal system! 2. What do you call a knight who’s afraid to fight? Sir Render! 3.Jokes on every topic! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond!The Best School Jokes Ever Told. Vote up any funny joke about school or students. A list of the funniest jokes about going to school that you’ve ever heard. Outside of these school jokes, there’s nothing funny about the classroom. Seriously, we tried to think about something else that was funny about taking tests and dealing with windbag ...

Flights to sdq

International researchers examined more than 1,000 jokes (from across the world wide web) and narrowed them down to a list of 50, and then 36,000 people voted. We love the Joke of the Day and organizations that use the Joke of the Day as a way to create a humor culture, so here are the top 10 funniest jokes ever told that you can use for your ...

15. Sinking Cruise Ship Joke. A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea, and the cruise passengers manage to escape on lifeboats. A woman asks the Captain, “How far is the closest land?”. “3 miles”, he answers. “That’s not too bad. In which direction? she asks. The Captain replied, “Down.”.12. RIP, boiling water. You will be mist. 13. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 14. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first.Jul 25, 2009 ... The lists of example cookies above should include all domains for which cookies are set, but may omit some 3rd party cookies, especially in ...Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.”. Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…”. Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline. Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life. People say that life is short I say….Here are 60 funny computer jokes and the best computer puns to crack you up. These jokes about computers are great computer jokes for kids and adults. Here is our top list of computer dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about computers, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this computer humor with others. Jump to: Computer puns; Computer one linersDon't feel bad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too. If I were a dog and you were a flower, I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower. Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean. I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes, so sorry if I laugh at your face.Jokes are a fantastic way to bond and share lighthearted moments. In this compilation, we’ve gathered over 147+ hilarious one-liners that revolve around women and their quirks. These jokes are meant to entertain and bring smiles to your face. So, get ready to embrace the humor and let the giggles roll! Read more: jokes about mommy.Are you looking for a way to bring some laughter into your life? Look no further than these funniest short story jokes. Whether you’re hosting a party or just want to lighten the m...Honest Brand Slogans. Hallmark: “When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by a corporation.”. Ritz crackers: “Tiny, edible plates.”. CliffsNotes: “They’re still going to know ...

Bush, Trump, Sanders, and Clinton are all on a plane about to crash. A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton & Bernie Sanders is about to crash, but has only 3 parachutes. The first passenger yells, "I'm Jeb Bush, let the big dog eat! I can't.A dyslexic boy is driving home from training with his mother. “Can we go to McDonald’s, mum? I’m hungry,” the boy inquires. “Of course, if you can spell McDonald’s, we’ll stop on the way home, son.”. The boy takes a breather, gathers himself, and begins “M…C.”. He starts to struggle. “Ah f*ck it, let’s have a KCF.”.12. RIP, boiling water. You will be mist. 13. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 14. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first.Instagram:https://instagram. mexicancupid login The best dirty jokes are not for the faint of heart and are guaranteed to make even the boldest blush. Our collection of 101 dirty jokes includes raunchy one-liners and hilarious punchlines. These jokes are perfect for adults who appreciate a more risqué sense of humor. Sit back, relax, and get ready to dive into the filthiest, funniest gags ...Mar 11, 2024 ... 5852 likes, 77 comments - coachsaysjokes on March 11, 2024: "Dad Joke: The Shopping List @CoachSaysJokes, your go-to guy for a daily dose of ... dave hot chiken One-Liner Dad Jokes. RIP boiling water, you will be mist. I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap. A witch's vehicle goes brrroom brrroom! The waiter asked if I wanted a box for my leftovers, but I told him I’m not into fighting.The fun with deez nuts jokes is all in the setup. ‘Deez nuts’ is the punchline of a setup joke. You confuse the person and typically make them say ‘What?’, then you follow it up with the punchline that includes ‘deez nuts’. This is often followed up with saying ‘Got’eeeem’ for the full effect. supreme nutrition They say a joke becomes a dad joke when it becomes apparent. We would say it's when it's all groan. (Sorry.) The post 151 Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny appeared first on Reader's ...Oct 22, 2021 · One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer. A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can't cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking ... beaufort inn beaufort nc Funny Toilet Jokes. My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you’re sleeping, send me your dreams. If you’re laughing, send me your smile. If you’re eating, send me a bite. If you’re drinking, send me a sip. If you’re crying, send me your tears. I love you!”. facebook phone Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers! Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk. Q: Why are teddy bears never ... most up to date satellite maps May 1, 2023 · A white Christmas! *** Great joke for adults: whales at sea ***. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat – the male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. He asks the female whale “let’s both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.”. 1. Pail. 2. Mop Bucket. 3. Ice Bucket. 4. Car Washing Bucket. 5. Climb Mt. Everest. 6. Livestock Bucket. upvote downvote report. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over … bank hometown login I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t get it. I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking. I have a joke about hunting for fossils, but you probably wouldn ...Confused, the man asks his friend to explain, and the friend says, "Once you eat the first one, your stomach isn't empty any more!". The man chuckles at his friend's wit. Later that day, at home, the man calls his wife and says "How many pancakes can you eat on an empty stomach?" The wife says "3". The man says, "Damn. app refund apple 74 Funny Story Jokes That Earn Their Laughs. Linas Simonaitis and. Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė. 27. 1. ADVERTISEMENT. A one-liner is well and fine if you need a quick joke to brighten up the mood. Yet, sometimes, the need arises for something longer, more along the lines of a funny story. But we all know how these situations tend to go—if ... rapid city flights Bobbie: “The skinny one comes out when he is in the toilet. The fat one comes out to brush my nanny’s teeth.”. Life is like a pen*s: women can make it hard in an instant. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!”. ps 75 Here are 55 funny lawyer jokes and the best lawyer puns to crack you up. These jokes about lawyers are great lawyer jokes for kids and adults. Here is our top list of lawyer dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about lawyers, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this lawyer humor with others. Jump to: Lawyer puns; Lawyer one liners; Best … sliding tile puzzle Feb 21, 2024 · Here’s a toast to butter days. Don’t grain on my parade. A mother made her son loaves of bread shaped like Batman. When in the oven, the dark knight rises. I’d tell you a joke about butter on bread, but you might spread it around. I could mop the flour with you in a bread pun battle. A fish swam into a concrete wall, Dam! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. The guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda was lucky it was a soft drink. The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.Here are some great Pokémon joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about Pokémon. I saw a Pokémon that looked like a vegetable today, I thought it was Oddish. The Pokémon was finding counting really hard, he couldn’t get past pikaTWO. Pokémon released a new brand of bubblegum yesterday. It’s called Pika Chew.